I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
