i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
