I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You don't make any sense
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