I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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