He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize