His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
