is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
