I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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