Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
