do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
