I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You pole danced in your parka.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
