I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
