We won't sleep together?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
