only if we run a train.
done.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
