(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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