if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize