i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
