who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize