how can u be prego again
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
