In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
