the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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