I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
