Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
There's always time for handjobs
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Of course I have a pirate flag
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
