Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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