am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
