She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
A bitchslap is in order.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
