There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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