I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
