Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
