I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
