I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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