I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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