That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You have to summon your inner elephant
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I lost the right to judge tonight
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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