So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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