I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
