The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
