Well douche your snatch and let's go!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
