Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
