someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
