There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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