her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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