Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize
