I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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