you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
