oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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