ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
