the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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