So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
