Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
