We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
