I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize