butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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