It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
