I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
