shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize