and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
