So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
