The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
