terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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